A stunning scoop from the Beijinger caught all of us off-guard this morning, as the handbag-sized magazine revealed that McDonald’s has “nuggetized [pork] leftovers into a frankly irresistible combination dubbed Spicy Pork McBites, or 脆辣猪猪球 (cui mala zhuqiu).”
Given that our office is right on top of a Maccy D’s, this was pretty embarrassing. A punishment was deemed necessary – how about some Pork McBites?
Two packets (pictured looking somewhat malevolent and bearing a perhaps coincidental resemblance to a pig's snout above) were purchased at the slightly annoying price of RMB9.5 and duly consumed. Here’s the deal: this is essentially popcorn chicken, with a mala-tinged coating. They look fucking gross – unlike the smooth white consistency of a McNugget, the McBite resembles the reconstituted slurry it is.
So it’s a more honest bite, but probably still contains anti-foaming agents and the remains of Lin Biao. Here are some comments from around the office:
“You need that dipping sauce” [we debuted these bad boys with a Spicy Cheese Flavored Sauce that divided the office]
“What kind of focus group has this gone through?”
“Slightly unnerving that the box resembles a pig snout”
“Is it pork? It tastes like chicken. Or pork flavoring. ”
“The batter is the overwhelming taste… spice is spot on”
“I think it would work a bit bigger… why popcorn style? Why not go full nugget?”
“Its texture is a bit like a school veggie burger… in that you don’t actually know if it’s a vegetable you’re eating”
“Fluffy. It feels mechanically separated.”
[Chinese girl shakes her head solemnly]
“Don’t ask me about food. It’s all good”
[Image via The Beijinger]
0 User Comments